Greatest Hits: Writer tweets about extra cringey coffee shop date she's overhearing in real time

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 5, 2023 3:00 PM EST

One writer got to tell an incredible story to the world in real time as she witnessed a first date slowly turn sour. In 2015, writer Anne Thériault happened to be at the same coffee shop as a pair of young folks on their very first date. Thériault couldn't help but tweet out the juicy details of the conversation in real time, as it was happening. It turns out this woman was on a date with a writer, who happened to say some super cringey facts about himself. "Dude is every precious self-involved writer," Thériault wrote in the opening tweet. The entire entertaining thread is below!

After that, check out this employee whose boss gifted him a present so that was so thoughtless his employee decided to quit. 

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  • 01
    Drinkware - 'She keeps politely asking him questions. Not once has he asked her about herself.'
    via Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
  • 02
    Organism - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Watching a couple on what appears to be a terrible first coffee date at the table next to me. Dude is every precious self-involved writer.
    via @anne_theriault
  • 03
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault "I'm writing a screenplay. It's about this guy who never really feels like he fits in. Like he's just different"
    via @anne_theriault
  • 04
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault "People tell me I look like James Franco."
    via @anne_theriault
  • 05
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault : Replying to @anne_theriault She keeps politely asking him questions. Not once has he asked her about herself. Wait he just asked if she'd ever dated a writer wtf
    via @anne_theriault
  • 06
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault "Writing is really hard. People don't know that. It involves a lot of introspection, a lot of wrestling with your own demons."
    via @anne_theriault
  • 07
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault He's now complaining about the "body" of the coffee, telling her he knows a place that doesn't over-roast their beans.
    via @anne_theriault
  • 08
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault Girl works for a non-profit. Dude is condescendingly explaining to her why most non-profit models don't work, he looked into making one once
    via @anne_theriault
  • 09
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault Every single thing she mentions he "did that one time, with my buddy" and is now an expert in
    via @anne_theriault
  • 10
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault Girl: I actually love cooking Dude: Oh god you should try my puttanesca sauce, my friend who's a chef says it's even better than his
    via @anne_theriault
  • 11

    The flags...they're turning red...

    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault : Replying to @anne_theriault "A lot of my friends are having kids but I don't know," *self-conscious laugh* "I can barely take care of myself let alone a baby."
    via @anne_theriault
  • 12
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault OH NO NOW HE'S TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS FEAR OF HAVING CHILDREN STEMS FROM HIS DADDY ISSUES AND I CANNOT
    via @anne_theriault
  • 13

    She's witnessing the breakdown of this date in real time, it can't get better from here.

    World - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault Girl has a look of mild panic.
    via @anne_theriault
  • 14
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault Girl just looked at her phone in feigned surprise. "Oh weird, I have a text from my mom." I just snorted audibly, turned it into fake cough
    via @anne_theriault
  • 15
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault Dude, oblivious: "oh yeah? That's awesome, I don't think my mom even knows how to text"
    via @anne_theriault
  • 16

    The old "I left the stove on" excuse, a classic escape plan.

    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault Girl: "yeah, she's, uh, worried she left her stove on. she's in a meeting and can't go home. I'd better go check for her."
    via @anne_theriault
  • 17
    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault Dude: do you want to go and come back? Girl: It's pretty far. Maybe we can do this again next week? I'll text you. OUT THE DOOR LIKE A SHOT
    via @anne_theriault
  • 18

    It was a true tragicomedy of the mid-2010s!

    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Replying to @anne_theriault He just opened his laptop and started typing. I hope it's a sad story about his life.
    via @anne_theriault
  • 19

    In a follow-up tweet, she shared that women truly resonated with this tale, while men were shocked, shocked I tell you, to hear of this wild story.

    Font - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Responses to my bad date live-tweet Men: you're so mean and I bet you made this up anyway Women: I have been on this exact date
    via @anne_theriault
  • 20
    Organism - RPG RPGHour Studios | free palestine | on haitus @RPGHour ... HOUR Replying to @anne_theriault @anne_theriault I had a friend that is similar to this He just had to go on a double date with me and my gf at the time We just sat in awe
    via @anne_theriault
  • 21
    Font - Kasaix @KasaiKnight Replying to @anne_theriault @anne_theriault You live-tweeted a bad first date. That is the greatest thing I've seen in a long time. I tip my hat to you, madam.
    via @anne_theriault
  • 22
    Font - Mx. D. E. Anderson @diannaeanderson Replying to @anne_theriault @anne_theriault I RT'd earlier but forgot to reply to say, "YES I HAVE BEEN ON THIS DATE, down to faking a text to get out of it."
    via @anne_theriault
  • 23
    Font - Todd Lamothe @Todd Lamo Replying to @anne_theriault @anne_theriault @JulieSLalonde I am a man and I have seen this same date played out before. Men, ask a question then shut up.
    via @anne_theriault
  • 24
    Font - PEN Keith Lowell Jensen @keithlowell Replying to @anne_theriault @anne theriault I've been this date. I hope the dude grows out of it.
    via @anne_theriault

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Tags

first date overheard date FAIL cringe Awkward writer dating
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